Reader question: tips for making guests feel welcome and comfortable
Today I’m answering a question submitted on Instagram after I recently asked what questions people had regarding hospitality, Philo or interior design.
Today’s question: What are your top tips for making guests feel welcome and comfortable in your home?
I could create a bullet list of 5 quick tips, which I know would be more easily consumed; however, I think that would do you a disservice. So hear me out.
Simply put: Think of welcome like a focal point. In design you have a focal point and then everyting around it is purposed to support and point to that focal point. You design a room around it. So, start with becoming a person who welcomes others well - what habits need to be created to welcome well? What distractions hinder you from welcoming well? Start with that and then use your home (or Church, workplace, classroom) as the support system that reflects and supports that desire to be welcoming.
Tip 1: Pray + Reflect.
A few years ago I was preparing for some family members to come over, and as I scrambled throughout the house, sweeping and arranging and cleaning some more, I had a thought, a question really, come to my mind.
“What if you prayed as much as you prepared?”
I felt led to pray for the people coming, to pray for our time together and for God’s blessing over that time. Preparing the house wasn’t wrong, it just easily became the overwhelming focus and usurped the main goal: to welcome others and care for them well. Praying allowed me to remember what, or rather who, the time I was so hurriedly preparing for was actually about.
The first tip to becoming a person who welcomes people well is to be a person who prays for the grace and power of God to do so. Commit to praying for the people who are coming into your home (or any other space) and ask God to form you into a hospitable person who reflects His hospitable heart. I have no doubt it will lead you to becoming the person of welcome you desire to be.
REFLECT (spend time with the Holy Spirit as you ask the following)
How have I experienced great welcome? What about it made me feel welcomed? How do I welcome people? What are some of the ways I already show welcome to others?What distractions, worries/concerns keep me from welcoming others?
Is there anything else hindering me from welcoming others in freedom? Fears? Insecurities? How do I want people to experience me as a person in regard to welcome?How do I want people to experience welcome when they enter my home?What habits can I implement to help me be a welcoming presence? What am I already doing that helps this, and what may I need to change?Now that you’ve done the hard - and good - work of reflecting on how to be a welcoming presence, let’s consider how your home can aid in being a welcoming environment.
I am passionate about personal reflection, and I am passionate about the impact of a good throw blanket and cozy seating. To me - they all flow together. I love that our homes can be staging grounds for thoughtful conversations and deepening relationships. So, how do we help people feel comfortable in our homes?
For this one, I will offer a list:
Seating
(Comfortable) Seating, is a great way to encourage people to sit down and stay awhile. I love when someone sits on our couch, puts their feet up and gets comfortable while draping one of my blankets across their lap. To me, this means they’re in for the long haul and we are about to have unhurried conversations where we can truly experience presence with one another.
Get personal
Meaningful photos, decor with a story or food that reflects your history and/or culture, these are just a few ways that you can share a bit of who you are, which results in someone feeling even more welcome as they are invited in to know you on a deeper level. When we share bits of who we are, we invite others to do the same.
Intuitive space planning
I love a good space plan. And I truly believe it is one of those subconscious things that help a person feel more comfortable and welcome because you’ve made it easy for them to navigate moving from one room to the next. There’s no awkward wondering “what do I do? Where do I go? Can I sit?” The goal here is to free up mental space by removing any guesswork.
Food/Drink
Who doesn’t enjoy having food to snack on? Exactly. We all do. And if nothing else, it gives us something to focus on if we feel uncomfortable or uncertain in a new place. Or if you’re just hangry (because I can’t be the only one who gets hangry…right?) In our house, we seem to always have tea and popcorn at the ready. But of course anything goes. Food is a great way to welcome someone and help them feel more comfortable, so whether it’s a full on meal or a couple snacks you pull out, food is always a good thing to share.
Pay attention
I know, I know, this one is probably the hardest. I especially get it - I’m a mom of 4 kids, ages 8 to 8 months, after all. There are far too many conversations I’ve started and had to abruptly end due to some interruption, usually from one of my kids. It’s not their fault. It’s not my fault. It just is what it is. BUT, I must also admit that it isn’t always my kids’ needs that keep me from paying attention. While that is a reality I have to learn to work with instead of against, I also have to acknowledge the habits that hinder me from paying attention to others. I like looking at my phone as much as the next person. I’m very fond of instant gratification. I admit that sometimes, I’d rather just not have to think or consider anyone else but my own needs. It happens. But, I, we, can’t always live like this. So, if you want to help people feel more comfortable in your home, identify the barriers that keep you from being most present.
