Emotions, The Chauvin Trial & Connection

I listened to the closing arguments of the Chauvin trial today.

I also watched some of the clips of testimonies from witnesses.

There was one witness in particular,
an older man, Black,
Who was crying on the stand during his testimony.

Some may see that and be unaffected.
I was not.
I cried with him.
It’s like I could feel the pain and torment,
The trauma he felt, the helplessness he knew.
He watched a man die.
And now he sat on the stand,
Bearing witness.
This is all he could do.
(I can only imagine the courage it took to do it.)

I felt many emotions while watching the arguments.
I realized they were impacting me when I became far less patient with my 3 year old crying over an ant in her bedroom.

That helped me realize I needed to pause.
I had to ask myself what my emotions were trying to tell me.
Where were they trying to lead me?

And I came to this thought.

Our emotions show us hospitality.
They serve us.
They can connect us to ourselves.
Not all connection feels good,
But that isn’t the aim of life, anyway.
And truly, this not-so-good-feeling-kind of connection is a gift disguised,
Because it does point me to the Savior.
He knows all about discomfort and sadness and pain.

This is what my emotions have taught me today.
There isn’t a shiny bow on this package.
But I am grateful that my emotions,
And in this case, my pain,
Don’t have to lead to disconnection.
I’m thankful it actually can connect me directly,
To the One who knows me.
Who loves me.
Who carries, you, me, us.

May we embrace our emotions, and see where they lead us. May they not be our masters, but a guide helping us find our way Home.