Lessons Learned: Hospitality From My Refugee Neighbors

A few years ago I met two women who happen to be from countries other than the United States. One I met through an ESL class and another I met through an organization that paired refugee families with neighbors in their community to help them as they adjusted to their new life in America.

One thing I picked up very quickly from them, something that not even language barriers could distort, was their gift of hospitality.

What struck me most was the willingness to give - especially of food - no matter how much or little (though admittedly it did always feel like a feast). Fries and rice and meat served with such gladness.

And perhaps that’s what I was picking up on, that was the real food that satisfied my hunger- their gladness. Their willingness to extend themselves. It’s just who they are - people who give. And I felt that, I felt that I mattered to them, that I was worth something to them.

I decided to make a package for our neighbors - something small with a few treats and a card with our phone numbers in case they ever needed anything. Now, the whole point was to give my neighbors something to enjoy along with a card introducing ourselves as Covid has made it difficult to meet our neighbors as we’d like; but, as I prepared these bags, at one point, shame and insecurity creeped in. I questioned the contents - these bags weren’t filled with enough things to make them worthy, I thought. The heart and intention wasn’t enough, I needed “more”.

But when I started to feel shame, I remembered my friends who taught me so much about hospitality. I remembered their gladness. Their willingness to give whatever they had. And so I kept on preparing the bags and delivered them. No longer worried about “more”, not even worried about how it may be perceived, but instead I did what they showed me - I offered what I had with gladness.

My friends likely don’t know how much they’ve impacted me, how their mere memory encourages me to be a woman who serves and loves others all the more intentionally and freely. They were just being themselves, and through that they changed me. They made me a better neighbor.

May that be a lesson for us all.